Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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