um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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