just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize