This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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