WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize