We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have demons in me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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