smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize