I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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