Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize