I forgot how hot balto sounded
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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