She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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