this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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