This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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