just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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