Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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