you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize