break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize