i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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