I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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