I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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