Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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