my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize