You can't special order awesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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