That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize