they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize