I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize