Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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