Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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