Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize