Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
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I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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