I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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