I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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