Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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