im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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