i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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