Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize