My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize