She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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