STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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