Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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