you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize