please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize