and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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