I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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