he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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