i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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