how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
A bitchslap is in order.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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