what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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