Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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