Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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